I'll Pretend I Have a Heart, for You
by Zombiechii
Summary: Akuroku(AxelxRoxas shipping). Takes place around Day 71 in Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days. Expands on the canon cutscene with a much more romantic ending.


**This is my first AkuRoku fic so I hope you like it! It takes place around the end cutscene of Day 71 in KH 358/2 Days. I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of it's characters.**

**Enjoy!**

Panting, Roxas ran for the portal to RTC. Why were the missions so exhausting lately? It was so awful working alone. He couldn't get his mind off of Axel, making it hard for him to focus in battle. Axel... poor Axel... Something twisted in his chest and he paused for the briefest moment, frowning. What was this feeling?

He was just a step away from RTC when suddenly, a voice called out behind him: "Hey, Roxas!"

_ I know that voice!_

Almost unable to believe his ears, he turned around, slowly, like moving too fast would ruin it. _But... they told me he was gone!_

"How's it hanging?" Axel himself stood there in the shadowy street, and he let out a soft chuckle at Roxas' expression. He stepped forward, but Roxas found himself frozen, bewildered by the very sight of the red-haired man in front of him. _He's here! He's really here! He's alive!_ A new pain pounded in his chest, but he didn't dare acknowledge it, having no idea what it might be.

"What's the matter?" Axel asked, putting on a little pouting face when Roxas said nothing. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

_ I'm trying to convince myself you're _not_ a ghost!_ Roxas yelled in his head, trying to organize his thoughts.

"Axel?" He finally gasped, forming the name on his lips and holding it there in his breath like a long-forgotten sweet taste. He gaped almost stupidly, afraid to blink, "But... I thought you were gone! Castle Oblivion - the whole team was annihilated..." He looked down at his feet, feeling like an idiot for ever believing Axel could be dead. Of course he wasn't dead! He would have known... somewhere in his being, he was sure he would have felt it. He never should have let the other members of the Organization convince him otherwise.

Axel cracked a smile and chuckled again, gesturing dramatically. "Correction: the weaklings were annihilated."

Roxas shook his head, finally lifting his gaze to meet Axel's. "You had me worried," he said, almost scoldingly.

Axel shrugged, his smile widening. "Worried? Well, that's a neat trick, considering you haven't got a heart to feel with."

_ How do you know?_ Roxas thought. _I feel so full right now. With what, I don't know. But my very being, my very core... I feel so great seeing you..._ _Can I really feel this way without a heart? Where does it come from?_

Suddenly, an excited thought bubbled to the surface. He waved his arms at his side, "W-wait here. I'll go buy us some ice cream!" He couldn't wait to share the WINNER popsicle stick with Axel. He'd been saving it all this time because he knew - _he knew _Axel had to come back eventually. He knew he would see him again.

He dashed off, feet pounding on the stone road. Axel turned to watch him go, a soft expression forming on his face. _The icing on the cake,_ he thought to himself. Once Roxas had rounded the corner in the direction of the ice cream shop, Axel opened up a darkness door and stepped into it smoothly, re-emerging atop the clocktower, taking a seat and waiting for Roxas to arrive. He hung his feet over the ledge, staring down at the ground and wondering just how high up he was sitting there. The giant clock above his head ticked away every second of lonesomeness.

Soon, a swirling purple-and-black darkness door cut into the air to his left, and Roxas stepped out of it holding two blue ice creams. He carefully handed one over to Axel and plopped down on the ledge beside him, perhaps with less caution than he should have used.

Axel pulled his right leg forward, propping his elbow up on his knee. The sunset before them blazed red, creating the illusion of a flaming horizon. They sat there in silence for quite a while, delicately licking their sea-salt ice cream.

Axel glanced out of the corner of his eye at Roxas, who was zoned out on something in the distance. Slowly, he moved his left arm over on the ledge, leaning his weight on it, inching his fingers just a _little bit closer_ to Roxas. Even if it was just his fingertips, he was satisfied being that much closer to him. Roxas slowly licked up a dribble of ice-cream up along the length of the popsicle, licking a drop off of his chin absentmindedly.

Something odd knotted in Axel's stomach, and he felt his face get hot. Quickly, he turned away, confused by his body's physical reactions. _You don't have a heart,_ he told himself. _Whatever you think you're feeling... there's no way it can be real. And there's definitely no way he feels it too._

He took a bite of the cold ice cream, finally speaking: "I gotta check in with the boss, or he's gonna let me have it."

Roxas turned towards him now, tilting his head just the slightest bit. "You haven't RTC'd yet?" he asked, sounding a bit concerned.

Casually, Axel swung to face him for a second, "Hmm? Nah." He tried to make it sound like it was no big deal. After all, he didn't care about the consequences. He'd much rather be here, in front of this perfect sunset, with the person who was most important to him.

"Well, why come here?" Roxas asked. He watched Axel carefully, feeling a little guilty for making him come up for ice cream without even thinking that Axel might need to RTC first.

Axel swung his hand in a _So what? _Sort of gesture. "Guess I needed some time to sort out my feelings," he replied, feeling his face get hot again. _I don't _have_ any _real_ feelings! Why would I say something like that? He probably thinks I'm stupid now. Great. _There it was again, that knot inside him. He felt like something was tugging on his chest, and he could feel heat rushing to his cheeks again. He _knew_ how he felt... but was he _really_ feeling it? Could he? Every day at Castle Oblivion had been terrible, lonely, empty without Roxas by his side. He'd found himself often worrying about how much he still had to teach his friend. Ever second was a moment closer to being able to come home and see those deep blue eyes again.

Roxas smirked, throwing his hands up. "Whatever, mister I-don't-have-a-heart." He was still looking at him, staring him down. He could see that Axel looked upset about something, maybe anxious. Did he want to leave? Should he suggest they go? _Feelings?_

Finally, Axel turned and stared hard at Roxas' face, trying to memorize every single feature of it. The movement of each blond hair in the breeze. The way his brow was furrowed with concern. The curve of his lips...

In a quick attempt to relieve the tension, they both uttered a nervous laugh. Axel noticed a small drop of blue ice cream fall from Roxas' popsicle stick and slip away. "Hey, your ice cream's melting. Eat up."

"Thanks." Roxas licked off the melted part at the top, getting some on his chin again. Axel swallowed back a lump in his throat and tried to keep a straight face. _He's driving me crazy!_

"You know, I started inviting Xion up here while you were gone," Roxas suddenly stated.

Axel's expression fell, and he looked down at his feet now, crestfallen. Why did those words hurt so much? Why did Xion's name on Roxas' voice sound like a dagger, piercing into a heart he didn't even possess? His eyes stung for some reason, and he stared down, not wanting Roxas to look at him now. He felt embarrassed, humiliated, like he'd done something wrong and been replaced.

"Xion? Really?" He finally choked out.

"Yeah, I promised her the three of us could have ice cream together - you know, once you got back." Roxas noticed the look on Axel's face and paused, wondering why he would look so upset about Xion coming.

Axel turned his face farther away from Roxas, gripping his ice cream tightly. _That was just supposed to be for the two of us... _

"Me and her are friends now," Roxas announced flatly, trying to catch his eye.

Axel tried his hardest to say nothing. He really did. But rage bubbled up and overflowed in his words. "Xion? _Xion!_ This is _our_ spot, Roxas! You didn't even consider that? Maybe there was a reason I only invited _you_ up here?"

"_Is_ there a reason?" Roxas questioned, taken aback.

"No... No, ya know what, _yes_ there's a reason, Roxas! You're my best friend, and I never get to be alone with you! All I wanted while I was stuck at Castle Oblivion was to see you again. To see your face. I missed you. And you said you were worried about me... but now I know you were probably too busy spending all your time with Xion to really care."

"Hey, _you're_ the one who left without any sort of real goodbye," Roxas snapped back at him.

"You don't understand!" Axel cried. "You are... _so..._ important to me. You mean... _so_ much..."

"You don't even have a heart to care that much." Roxas grumbled, getting to his feet. "You think I don't understand - help me understand! You left - show me you care!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"_Fine_!"

Axel dropped his ice cream over the ledge and lunged towards Roxas, nearly losing his balance as he stood, and their faces now only inches apart. Roxas' cheeks went red, and he froze where he stood. "Axel?" His voice was quiet now, barely above a soft whisper.

"Roxas, I..." Axel leaned against the wall of the clocktower, pinning Roxas there where we stood, leaning over his upturned face. _Those eyes... such soft, innocent blue eyes..._ Before he could stop himself, Axel started to move forward, and brushed his lips as gently as possible against Roxas'. The other boy gripped a fistful of his black coat, and in that moment, something overcame him. Axel let out a soft sigh, and he laces his arms tightly around Roxas, one around his waist and the other behind his head, pressing their kiss together more.

Axel had never shared a kiss in his life. Maybe he had, maybe when he was _real_. But this was him now. This was his own life. This was the moment he wanted to get lost in forever. It was perfect. This was what he'd been longing to do for a very long time now. Carefully, he parted his lips, and Roxas did the same, granting his tongue permission. He wanted to stand here in the fiery red sunset and taste this boy's breath as long as he existed.

After what felt like ages, the two of them parted, panting for air. Roxas ran his fingers through Axel's flaming red hair and smiled so softly it made Axel almost wish he knew how to cry. He would cry for this boy.

"Roxas?" He breathed the name afraid to break the serenity of the moment. It was a question, wondering, _did he like it?_

"Axel..." Those big blue eyes gazed longingly up at him. "What... was that?" _Such innocence_... He squeezed him ever tighter, afraid to let go.

"That was what's called a kiss, Roxas. It's something that people who love each other do."

"What's... love?"

_ So fragile... So unafraid of the world..._

Axel cleared his throat. "Love is... love is how I feel about you, Roxas. I love you. And I may not have a heart but damned if I won't pretend I do. For you. I'll do anything you want, Roxas. You mean the world to me. I've wanted to do that for a very, very long time. But I was... I guess you could call it afraid. I was afraid you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't feel the same way.

Roxas smiled. "Axel, I don't know what I feel. I don't know _if_ I feel. But whenever I see you... whenever I'm around you... and _definitely_ when you 'kiss' me... Something happens inside of me. Something good, I can tell. Something I want to hold on to. I always wanted to be closer to you. Always wanted to see you. Wanted to make you laugh, and smile."

"...Really?" Axel smiled, raising his eyebrows, his emerald eyes lighting up.

Roxas nodded. "Whatever 'love' is... I think maybe that's it. That's what I feel. Maybe it's not the way love feels for someone with a heart but... I love you, Axel."

"I love you too..." Axel whispered, burying his face in the other boy's shoulder and breathing in his perfect smell, taking comfort in it. "Come on," he whispered, finally standing up straight, one hand remaining on Roxas' waist. "Let's go home. Together."

**Alright, there it is! Please please please review so I know how to make more AkuRoku in the future. If it sucks we'll just pretend it never happened. This might have more chapters, it really depends on reviews, so if you want more, voice your opinion! Feel free to check out my other fics too. Thanks!**


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